Anticipated Fear in Mental Explorations
Last Updated: 2019-08-08 18:04

There's this weird thing that's been happening lately where I generally feel okay, and I'm noting that my state of mind is "y'know, pretty good". And I'm being mindful of that.

The issue arises when I am thinking about what to do next. Some part of me will think "Oh, hey, there's this cool problem that's been bugging us that we could dive int..."

Whereupon the rest of my brain will think "No! Don't dive in! If you do, then you'll start to think about painful things, and you'll lose your current state of mind (which is not dwelling on painful stuff)."

I think this might just be a not-helpful defense mechanism. Not looking into the bad bits doesn't mean they're not there. While it seems good to be strategic about choosing when to dive into examining different problems, I think my current policy lately has been something like a blanket "No, just don't do it!", which seems bad because then I just never end up addressing those issues.